Monday, January 30, 2012

Man's Search For Happiness

Here it is!! Finally after a long wait.

Here's what goes through a guy's mind when asking a girl he likes on a date. Usually it happens from a combination of peer pressure and personal desire. The guy wants to ask the girl out to a certain degree, which will be represented by a percent "A" from 0 - 100, and his friends will pressure him to find a date to a certain degree, which will be represented by a percent "B" from 0-100. Now, if the sum of the two percents "A" and "B" are greater than 100 then he'll ask. If not, then he won't. Lets say this one guy named Rob likes this one girl named Kaley to a degree of, say, 95%. His roommates don't really care if he asks her out or not, so they really only pressure him because it's SO MUCH FUN! We'll give that a 10% pressure. Add these two together and Rob has a date!!! (For those math challenged peeps 105% > 100%).

Now, lets say that a guy doesn't like like a girl but still wants to go on a date with her. Probably because he thinks she's tight and wants to have some fun. The two factors involved are his inhibitions and the external pressures he feels, social, ecclesiastical, or otherwise. Once again, add them and if they exceed 100 then the date happens.

Okay, so thats not really how it works, but the point is that we're dealing with two very different cases here. If the guy likes the girl or if he's just going for fun. Here are the takes of myself, Brett, and Mike. Who is which color? You decide.




MONDAY
Somebody casually mentions the possibility of a date this weekend and suggests a double/group. I spontaneously agree, but give it little thought.
A roommate mentions the possibility of a date this weekend. I give a non-committal response and forget about it within 10 minutes.
Should I go on a date this weekend?
Oh hey there homework, let's have some fun!

TUESDAY
I see the person who suggested the group date and it reminds me of it. I start thinking of who to ask. Nothing else happens.
Still don't remember the date possibility. What's for dinner?
I have some free time Friday evening. That sounds like a great time for a date.
Oh goody, more homework! My favorite!

WEDNESDAY
The looming date has started to seep into the back of my mind. I'm starting to decide if it's going to be a "for fun" date, or the high rolling, high intensity, finally-ask-out-the-girl-I've-been-wanting-to-ask-out-for-about-a-month date. Because if its the second one then it needs to be GOOD. All Caps. Hmmmmm. I'll figure that out later.
Person reminds me of date possibility. I say I will probably go, although I'm still non-committal. I promptly forget again.
Hey, I should probably figure what I'm going to do this weekend, shouldn't I? I'll go talk to the guys.
That's a good idea. I should probably find a girl to ask.
Do I want to take this girl that I'm really interested in? Or is this just a fun date? Let's do a fun date this weekend.
RockBand looks like fun!

THURSDAY
Okay, so the date is tomorrow. I should probably ask someone right? At three times during the day I say to myself, "I really need to figure out who I am going to ask on this date! I would do it right now, but I'm in Physics/roller blading/its too early/playing sports/eating a peanut butter sandwich/don't have cell service/break dancing/writing poetry." This gets nothing done. I get home late from school after doing homework and now I'm sincerely worried about this date. Soooooo, I pull up the ward menu directory. This is either going to confirm to me that the girl I secretly wanted to take is the one I should take, or I am going to remember the cute girl on Sunday who gave the good lesson/talk/comment in class/smile and wink and decide to take her. Either way I am going to figure out who to take. This has cost some considerable mental energy and strength and so I think that it was good enough for the day. I might call or go over to her apartment tonight, but probably not. I have all day tomorrow anyway!
I remember the date on my own, feel proud of myself for remembering, and forget again. RockBand anyone?
So who am I taking out tomorrow? Let's check out the ward menu directory.
I think I'll take this girl. That should be fun! We'll have a great time. Should I call her?
I'm hungry. Time for dinner.

FRIDAY
After waking up in the morning the dread hits. What if she says no? Could I find another date in time? I could call her, but what if she answers? I pick up the phone and dial. Here is what may happen: "Hello? Hey, this is _____. How are you? (This is almost always fumbled because I want to get to the actual point of the conversation as soon as I can. The 'How are you' is always rushed for this reason, and I would have no idea what to say if the answer was anything but 'good.' Good thing that never happens) Good, how are you? (Okay, ball is back in my court and I can bring it on home!) Good. (k, past that) What are you doing tonight?   OR   Do you want to go to ___ with me tonight? (Now the heart is pounding. If she says yes is it because she is being nice and doesn't actually want to go? Or is she totally in to me? If she says no and gives an excuse is it because she really just doesn't want to go out with me? Or is she legitimately busy and would go out some other time if I asked her to?).  -  Pause...  -  Yeah that sounds like a lot of fun! (Okay good!! Now just rush through the details and get off the phone to celebrate!) Oh, awesome! We are going to meet up with (insert people's names for the group/double date here). I'll come by to get you at ____ time.  Okay, sounds good! See you then! Okay, bye!" Oh, that was brutal. But it was a success!! Now, gotta get my swag on! I dress up classy about a half hour before the date. I put some gel in my hair, spray the cologne, probably get one or two opinions on how I look from my roommates, and we're off.
I get home in the afternoon and consider the date possibilities. Choices: Stay home alone and bored, or go out and have a blast with a woman. Needless to say I usually choose the latter. Then I open the ward menu directory. I browse the pages and pages of beautiful women in the directory. I decide on someone, and ask for roommate confirmation. I can the proceed to the contact stage. I call or knock on the door. But I avoid texting at all costs, because that's just tacky even if it is ultra convenient. I ask how she is and ask if she is free tonight. Then I proceed to tell her we will be ________ and the group will be meeting at ______PM. I am about to hang up when she asks where we are meeting. Then I turn really red (thank goodness I'm on the phone and she can't see) and inform her I will pick her up and apologize for the lack of clarity. Now I can relax for a few hours before my date. Movie, food, RockBand, food, more food. 20 minutes before the date: Hmm, I should probably get ready soon. 15 minutes before: I really need to work up the willpower to get up and ready now. 10 minutes before: Get up, dressed, smelling good, and looking extraordinary (which isn't hard for me) all in time to pick up my hot date. Date time: I run out the door, and immediately run back in because I forgot a) which apartment my date lives in b) my phone or c) my wallet. Then I can proceed to pick up the girl. I knock, say hello and begin the best night of the week.
Okay the date's at 8 tonight. I should call her now.
Ring. Ring.
-Hello?
-Hey, [name], how are you?
-(The answer here is always, without exception, "good!")
-That's great! I was wondering if you're free tonight?
-(Usually) Yeah, I am.
-Awesome. Would you like to (go do something) with me?
-Sure, sounds great!
-Okay! (Explain details of date).
-Sounds like fun!
-See you tonight!
***T-minus 60 minutes to date***
What time is it? Okay, I've got half an hour until I should start getting ready.
***T-minus 30 minutes to date***
Oh hey, I should go get ready now.
Pump some jams. Brush teeth, put button-up shirt on, maybe shave.
Hey roomies, how do I look?
Darn. I could have waited a lot longer to get ready.
***T-minus 5 minutes to date***
Alright, I've been sitting here for 20 minutes. It's finally time! Let's go have some fun!


Want to know what goes through my mind while ON the date and afterward?? Stay tuned for more :)

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